Monday, July 9, 2012

Making a Living - Not Making a Life? Time to Reflect on What's Important in Your Life

Wow - what went wrong? Maybe you started out OK but now you have realised that you don't actually like your life - or at least elements of it.

For some of us it's a gradual awareness that creeps up on us as we go about our daily lives. We might moan and be despondent but it takes a while to wake up to the truth that this is not the "happy ever after" we had planned. We gradually realize that we're not content with our "lot" in life, and want something more or something different.

For some there is just something missing in our otherwise contented lives and for others we feel that nothing is going right. Many people don't even realize that they are unhappy. They get so used to living miserable, frustrated lives that this becomes the norm and they forget that they once aspired to have anything more. For these people, it's often outsiders who see that they are down; although their advice may be just to tell them to "snap out of it" or to "pull themselves together" both of which are extremely unhelpful!

For others an external, unforeseen event brings us to an abrupt halt, which leads us to rethink what we want from life. That external event might be a health scare, losing your job, your home or your partner, that forces you to change how you live and what you do.

For me it was a double-whammy - within a ten-month period I was diagnosed with breast cancer and then lost my job after 24 years! Clearly, life was trying to tell me to change! I didn't get the message after the first wakeup call as I returned to work after my treatment - but had no choice when I left my job; I had to make changes.

The great news is that in hindsight, both of these life changing events taught me valuable lessons and I have finally learnt how to make a life and not just a living. My life has changed beyond recognition and I've found real contentment and inner peace which others find hard to understand.

Have you noticed how many unhappy people there are around you? You only have to read a paper or watch television to see misery at every turn. But why is that? Bad news sells papers and in our culture, good news is rarely big news. There are loads of tabloid talk shows that only exist to exploit unhappy people but if the rest of us didn't enjoy watching, there would be no market for such shows. Maybe it makes us feel better, because the lives of those featured are even more of a mess than our own! What a sobering thought!

Sadly, there doesn't seem to be a market for programmes where people are happy - in every soap opera on television, it seems that as soon as someone finds happiness, the script writers have to kill them off or create a new nightmare for them to be thrown into! Did you know that since 1985, there have been over 60 deaths in Eastenders - the British TV soap set in East London? Sixty deaths in one small residential square - great TV maybe but fortunately not representative of real life!

It's important to remember that our lives are not for the amusement or entertainment of others - they are for us to live, the way we want to live. Do keep that in mind when you start deciding how you want to live your life.

I saw this on Facebook recently and to me, it reads like a checklist of things we should think about:-

"We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little and watch TV too much. We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years" George Carlin 1937- 2008.

How many of these "too's" apply to your life? In order to change your life for the better, you need to understand where you are starting from so take time to go through George's list and see which ones you need to change. You don't need to stop all of these completely, but some small changes could be the first steps towards the better, happier life you yearn for.

Don't put it off, start now to make changes - because you only get one life!



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