Form Lasting Habits, Part II

Last week, in part I of this post, I shared some of the real challenges of making any new habit stick and several proven ways to successfully lock in a new habit. These are:

1. Pick one thing at a time

2. Give yourself two months

3. Start easy.

Here are four more methods and tips for making lasting change in your life:

4. Do the activity at the same time every day. Decide exactly what you are going to do and commit to a specific time to do it. Put it on your calendar and protect that time. Multiple studies have shown that committing to a specific time doubles the likelihood of the committed action being performed. We're simply more likely to follow through when we decide ahead of time how and when it's going to happen. Over time, by performing the action at the same time each day, our bodies and minds adapt and prepare for the action. This helps lock in the new neuro-pathways more quickly, allowing the new habit to become more automatic and unconscious. Whether it's going on a jog as soon as you wake up, meditating immediately after dinner or writing in a gratitude journal right before bed, commit to exactly what you want to do and when you are going to do it.

5. Reduce the activation energy for habits you want and increase it for habits you don't want. This simply means to take away any barriers from the activities you want to do and increase the barriers to habits you want to break. For example:

• Decide your morning workout plan before you go to bed. Sleep in your (clean!) workout clothes. Put your shoes right next to your bed. Have your gym bag fully packed and by the door with your car keys and wallet. With no decisions to make in your groggy morning state, you'll be much more likely to get up and do it.
• Store the TV remote control in the closet. Ask yourself during those 20 seconds it takes to fetch it, whether TV is really what you want to do with your time. Even better - put that book you want to read in the same place you usually put the remote. See how it changes your behavior.

6. Visibly track your progress. We used sticker charts to get our kids to do their morning routines without 258 reminders from us ("Brush your teeth! Put on your shoes! Get your backpack!"). It worked so well that I adapted it for me. Each day that I perform the habit I'm trying to develop, I get a sticker on the blank calendar page taped to my bathroom mirror. It's empowering to see my success ("Hooray! I meditated for 3 whole minutes! Sticker for me!"). Sometimes I offer myself prizes - a night out dancing or a visit to Dave & Busters - if I can get a certain number of stickers in a month (notice I didn't set my expectation as "every day"; cut yourself some slack and realize that missing a day - or three - isn't a deal-killer.). If shiny little stickers are a bit too silly for you, find some way of visibly tracking your progress. The key here is that you put it in a place you'll see it multiple times per day (on the fridge, in the hallway, in your written calendar, next to computer screen, etc) and that you have some way to track whether you made it or not each day.

7. Get social support. When you are committed to developing a new habit, tell some good friends or your partner or roommate. Ask for their support and encouragement. This is a role I often play for my clients - when they tell me specifically what they are going to do; they are so much more successful at doing it. It's simply in our nature to follow through on commitments when made to others. Even better is to have a buddy who is trying to integrate the same new habit. You can do the activity together, if feasible, but a regular check-in can make a huge difference as you forge ahead. This is particularly powerful in helping you through those days where motivation is not coming naturally. Social support is an amazing thing.

Once you've decided to develop a new habit, the most important thing is that you commit to it. Really commit. Visualize what success would look like and what benefits you'd receive by incorporating this new habit into your life. Then take the time to make a detailed plan of what you are going to do and when. Start easy and build up to your goal in small steps over time. Then lock it into your schedule for at least two months. Create a way to track your success and pull together a team of people who want you to be successful. Throw the backpack over the wall and then start climbing! Good luck!!!

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